Thinking of getting ex back? Read this first!
(page 2)

Note: this is page 2 of "...getting ex back". For page 1 go to: Thinking of getting back with your ex? Read this first!

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Here are more possible reasons for your breakup. Read why maybe now is not the time for getting ex back:

3. You or your ex is too controlling

   In a relationship, neither partner has the right to:

   • keep the other from spending time with family or friends.
   • insist the other be home by a certain time
   • demand to know what the other is doing at all times
   • limit the other's independence
   • threaten the other's well-being

   Controlling behavior results from fear of abandonment and rejection. The controlling partner has a distorted idea of how close two people in a relationship should be — has a fantasy of two people merging into one, becoming fused together.

   Such behavior has roots in past family relationships, and is not easily overcome. If you tried to control your ex, you must understand why you did it. Before you try to get back together, you must learn to stop it. Your first step is to find a therapist, because this is too difficult to tackle on your own.

   If your ex tried to control you, and you have no reason to believe that tendency has changed, then you should not renew your relationship. Don't believe the promises your ex makes, unless your ex has obtained professional help to deal with the problem.




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4. Pet conflicts

   "He hates my cat."

   "She won't let my dog sleep in the bedroom."

   These are examples of what you hear when couples break up because of disagreements over pets.

   Maybe one partner is allergic to animals, or doesn't believe pets belong indoors, or in bed with humans.

   Maybe the issue is an animal's behavior: aggression, barking, scratching furniture, peeing on the carpet.

   Worst of all, maybe the situation escalated to the point where an animal was being harmed or abused, bearing the brunt of one partner's anger.

   Conflicts over pets don't resolve themselves without compromise. Some behavior problems can be resolved with training, but other issues don't have easy solutions, and the only possible compromise may be to get rid of the pet.

   If your ex hates your pet, don't try getting ex back unless you're willing to make a sacrifice.

   If you think your ex will see the light, you're wrong. If you can't tolerate your ex's pet, accept the fact that your relationship can't work. Don't expect your ex to choose between a pet, and you.

   If you and your ex have not worked out a solution you can both agree on, don't proceed with getting back together.

Soon to be continued on page 3....

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